Beyond the Veil
by Richan MMI
Summary: What, exactly, is beyond the veil? Sirius finds out. Adventures in the possibilites of Alternate Reality. This time, Sirius enjoys a Halloween party in Halloween, Part 4400.
1. Beyond the Veil

Title: Beyond the Veil  
Author: Richan  
Category: Humor  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: language, unless you consider the chain-smoking vampire a threat to your psyche  
Spoilers: up to OotP, with a special guest appearance from _Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince._  
Summary: Where does the veil actually end up? Sirius finds out.  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I've taken liberties with them, however, so they may be returned somewhat damaged.

He felt himself falling as the fight disappeared from in front of his eyes. Whatever spell his cousin had hit with hurt like a bitch. He could feel his insides twisting with pain as his entire body seemed to float through an endless black fog. The pain grew and he considered himself lucky as he felt his body shut down as he passed out.

* * *

"What the hell happened to him that he looks like that?" 

Sirius' lids fluttered at the rough voice. It took him a moment to realize that it was a east London accent, and he wondered where he had landed; the Ministry was in central London, far beneath the Underground. He managed to pry his lids open enough to tell that he was in a large space, with lights hanging down halfway from the ceiling.

"Spike, put that thing out before you light his hair on fire," came a woman's voice from the other side of where the man was. Her voice was a different accent, and he couldn't tell exactly where she was from, but it definitely wasn't the big GB.

"He is wake ing upu," came another voice, and Sirius had watched enough Godzilla movies with Lily during her last months of pregnancy to recognize that he was from Japan. A vision of a giant lizard popped into his head and he shook it to clear it.

"You all right?" the woman asked. "You landed with quite a bump. But I think I got everything."

"Have you no sense of what proper grammar is?" the London accent asked. "Why am I always stuck with Americans?"

"I could put you back, you know. The new season of Peaches' show is starting and the guy who plays you is guest starring."

"Hell, no! Just buy me more cigarettes."

Sirius _had_ to open his eyes all the way at this conversation. There was a light hanging off to his left, the frosted glass shade moving slightly in an unfelt breeze. Beyond it was a bare roof, the wood trusses a dark brown-black in the shadows. He blinked as a face came into view. It was rather close, and he blinked a couple more times to focus.

Short blond hair that looked horribly like Malfoy's sat atop a thin face with dark eyebrows and cheekbones that were so sharp they could probably cut through steel. A cigarette hung from one side of the man's mouth, and Sirius was afraid that it would fall on him and begin to burn.

Another face came into view, and Sirius closed his eyes to make sure that he wasn't dreaming this up. Or at least imagining it. The woman had dark green hair, making him think that she was related to his cousin. She had hazel eyes, with some crazy orange shadow reaching to her blond eyebrows. Her nose was pierced and her lips were pale with a hint of a shine on them, as if she had just licked them.

She smiled at him suddenly, and Sirius had the feeling that, if he _was_ still alive, he had fallen into that old show that Lily had loved so much. What was it called? The Twilight Show or some such name.

"You feelin' alright?" she asked.

Sirius struggled to sit up and only managed it with the help of the blond man. When he was upright, he saw that they were inside a barn of a sort, although it had been fixed up enough for living quarters, with a loft on the right side, judging by the railing he could see from here.

There was a silence, indicating that she was still waiting for an answer.

"'m alright," he said quietly, coughing on the last syllable. A small glob of something came up, and he looked curiously at the red ball of threads. He didn't remember chewing on anything this color when he was Padfoot this afternoon.

"Good, you got it up," the woman said. "I wasn't sure if it would come this way or the other. It's better this way."

"Tell me about it," muttered the blond.

The woman glared at her blond-haired companion before turning to Sirius and smiling sweetly.

"I know it's rather rude of us to go so long without introducing ourselves, but I wanted to make sure that you knew what was going on. The last time it happened, poor Saffiru over there was almost shot because Treize wasn't entirely _here._"

She pointed at someone over her shoulder and Sirius saw that it was a man of Asian descent, wearing a blue jacket with strange chains on it. His hair was a strange blue-black and he had dark blue eyes. The man noticed Sirius' staring and bowed slightly towards him.

"That's Saffiru, who was obliterated by his own brother," the woman said. "Stupid Dimandu, anyway. Fratricide is, unfortunately, more common when you're evil anyway."

Saffiru looked abashed and turned to look out the darkened window. Sirius turned shocked eyes towards the woman. She shook her head, as if apologizing.

The blond man said, "The bloke's not evil anymore. You could say he saw the light."

The woman frowned and leaned over Sirius, punching the blond directly in the eye. She shook her hand as she pulled back, shrugging as the blond danced away, holding both hands up to his injured face.

"Bloody hell, woman! Maybe I should take you up on that offer. Peaches couldn't sock me one if he tried," the blond snarled.

The woman grinned. "That's Spike, by the way," she told Sirius. "And I'm Moria. Moria Smith." She nodded to the door. "Somewhere up in the loft is Treize, although he tends to sulk quite a bit, so I don't know when you'll get to meet him. That's the rest of the crew that lives here."

Sirius pinched his nose, closing his eyes tightly together. He slumped forward slightly as he tried to assimilate just what the hell was going on. Pulling himself together, at least as much as he could, he tried to gather all of the facts as he knew them.

One, he wasn't in the Ministry building. He could still be in London, but he doubted any building looked like this. Besides, he just heard a cow moo outside, so no, London was not the location.

Two, he didn't hurt anymore. The entire time that he'd been lucid as he fell, his chest had hurt like all bugger, but he was fine since he'd basically pulled a McGonagall with the hairball, er... thread-ball.

Three, he needed some alcohol and fast. Because if this was hell - it certainly didn't sound like heaven to him - he wanted to be oblivious to everything if these were the people he was trapped with.

He could think of three or more things that he wanted to list, but he needed to know just where he was exactly, and just how would he be able to get back to Harry.

"Where am I?" he asked, as politely as he could. He really didn't need to bother, as Moria and Spike were arguing fiercely and the Saffiru guy was heading out the door next to the window.

"What's that?" Moria asked, having punched Spike once more in the eye - the other one this time.

"Where. Am. I."

"Oh. I'm afraid that you're stuck in the boonies. More specifically, you're in the big village of Hell, Michigan."

He was in hell, all right, but he didn't know exactly where that was. So he decided to introduce himself. "I'm Sirius."

"So was I." The woman grinned.

James had always said that, one day, his joke would return to him and bite him in the arse. Just why it had to be today of all days, he wanted to ask, but knew he wouldn't get an answer. "No, my name is Sirius. Sirius Black."

Moria's mouth opened to let out an excited "oh!" and she hurriedly raced over to a bookcase and pulled a large tome off the middle shelf. The large, blue covered book was set down on top of his legs as she looked through it, Sirius wincing at the weight on his bum knee. _Stupid dog arthritis anyway._

Then he got a good look at the title sprawled at the top of the page and he lifted the front cover to read the title. _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix._

"What the hell! How did you know about this? Who wrote this? Does Dumbledore know about this? Hell, does old Voldiepants know about it!" Sirius tried to get up, but the blond man kept pushing him back down with surprising strength. "Would you stop that!" He demanded, searching for his wand and realizing that it was in his hand, still, after all this time.

Moria grabbed the book with her right hand and patted Sirius on the leg with the other. "Well, Sirius, I'll explain it all if you just settle down." She turned away slightly. "TREIZE! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE WITH WHATEVER BOTTLE YOU'RE BROODING WITH!"

Sirius winced at the volume coming from her lungs. And he thought he'd been loud when he was younger.

She turned back to him with another grin. "He'll be down with whatever alcohol he's drinking. But, to answer your question of where you are, here - " Moria raised her right hand, fingers and thumb held tightly together as if in a mitten, and pointed with her left index finger at a spot on her lower palm, even as Spike groaned.

"Not the bloody hand map again!" the blond muttered, lighting a new cigarette from the one hanging from his lips. He looked at Sirius. "I bloody well hope you think she's a nutter, because these other blokes think it's _cute._ I don't care if can use body parts to show where you live, you stupid bint, I don't bloody want to see it again."

A fist crossed Sirius and landed on the blond's nose this time.

"Bloody hell!"

"Stop your whining!"

Sirius bent his head, wondering if it was possible to leave this Hell. Was there a city called Heaven here in... Michigan?

"No, but there is a fantastic ice cream place down on in the village. They have a strawberry ice cream that tastes like it came from Heaven. It's not very far to bike down there."

Sirius looked up at that; he hadn't realized that he'd asked his question out loud. As he did, a tall man with ginger colored hair came gracefully down a spiral set of stairs. He had on a red, military-cut jacket and white pants tucked into knee-high black boots, with a shine so polished Sirius could see his reflection even from where he was sitting. But it was the bottle of amber liquid that held his attention the most. Wherever this place was, he hoped that they had some decent whiskey.

Moria grabbed the bottle from the man and handed it to Sirius. "Here. Drink up, 'cause you're gonna need it while I explain the situation."

Sirius hesitantly raised the bottle up to his nose. Whatever brand this was, it had a rich aroma. He took a tentative sip and felt the burn trickle smoothly down his throat. He took another, this one a longer drink, and savored the alcohol as it made its way to his stomach. It was well made whiskey and was much better than the awful swill that James had been able to procure at Hogwarts or even when he was married to Lily. Hell, it was on par with Ogden's Premium Firewhiskey, only without the strange flames.

"Well," Moria said after Sirius had comfortably put away at least two glasses worth. "The whole truth of the matter is that you've fallen into what could be considered the rubbish bin of reality."

Sirius raised an eyebrow at that and took another drink. He could tell that he would need it if that was anything to go by.

"What I mean is, the world from which you came is, in this reality, fiction. You've had the unfortunate fate handed upon you by those stupid witches that live up north to live in this reality - "

"What the stupid bint means is that you're now in a reality where you're a fictional character and there ain't no way to get home," the blond said, puffing on yet another cigarette. He blew a ring of smoke in Sirius' direction. "Whenever the book, movie, or television show comes out and you die in it, that's when you appear."

Moria nodded, even as Sirius tried to twist his thoughts around the entire idea. She raised the blue covered book in her hand. "See, this book came out at midnight tonight and I went to go get it. Because I can't trust these particular idiots to behave themselves when I'm not here, I dragged them along to the bookstore. When we got home, you were on the floor."

"So what does it all mean?" Sirius asked, taking another swig of whiskey as if it were the only lifesaver aboard a sinking ship. And that's what he thought this was.

"I'm afraid that it means that you are dead in your particular reality," the man called Treize said in a sophisticated, European accent. "You arrived here in this hellish reality solely due to the fact that you died."

"I'm what!" Sirius asked in a strangled voice, somehow losing his grip on the whiskey bottle. The air grew dark as he struggled to rise. "That can't be right!" There was a hand on his shoulder as he struggled for his next breath and then there was blackness once more.

* * *

"You're an idiot." 

"That is your argument every time you feel that you have been wronged. I fail to see how I am an 'idiot' when you seem to be the cause for the troubles that exist around here."

"Hello! I'm the bloody Scourge of Europe! I don't do anything wrong."

"And I tried to have the Earth blown up, but that does not mean that I am incapable of admitting that I have been in the wrong."

Sirius opened one eye cautiously as the battle of words continued. He wouldn't say it was a battle of wits, because the man with the cultured voice was the only one well armed for this fight. Still, he needed to see if this was but all a dream and he would wake to find himself trapped in Grimmauld Place with a creepy house-elf standing over him.

Sirius slowly sat up as the sound of crunching reached his ears. He looked over to find the woman with the strange green hair munching on some popcorn. When she noticed he was awake, she pushed the bowl towards him, to the edge of the table between where he sat on a sofa and the large, cozy chair she was lounging on.

"Want some?" she asked. "They'll be at this for a while, so I'd take some if you're hungry. I don't dare try to go around them to get to the kitchen. I barely escaped with my life when I tried it to nuke this stuff."

Nuke? She caused mass destruction all for some popcorn? If she had wanted that, he could have whipped up a couple of spells with his wand. Still, he _was_ hungry. He grabbed a handful and shoved it into his mouth, a few pieces falling onto his robes because he was using his left hand. He wasn't about to let go of his wand until he was sure of this place, even for food.

The argument faded into the background as Sirius hurriedly ate the popcorn as fast as he could. His stomach could tell that it had been quite a few hours since the last time that he ate, and he was going to take full advantage of eating. Finally, he tired of the buttery and spicy popcorn and looked for something to wipe his hand with. The woman handed him a strange, papery napkin.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

As he nodded, she muttered under her breath. Sirius wished for a moment that he was Padfoot, because he would have understood what she said. But he wasn't about to attempt it in front of these people.

"It _is_ hard to have all that sprung on you all at once," Moria said. "But I really can't think of anything that could soften such a blow. Most people take a long time to recover, and then there are some that I don't even want to go out in public alone because I know that they'll cause trouble."

"What is this place?" Sirius asked, bewildered by her rambling.

The woman sighed. "You ever hear of Atlantis?"

Sirius nodded, though he was confused at the change in direction of the conversation. "Sure. There were a couple books in the library. They all said that the island sunk to the bottom of the sea."

She grimaced. "That's about all of the truth. But what the books don't say is that it is because the king said that his daughter was the smartest being in the universe. His boasting angered the gods and they sunk it. But what they didn't count on was that a couple of people survived by slipping through - all because of a wisp of a girl.

"Well, when they examined the facts, the gods discovered that when the universe was created, there was a tiny loophole left in the fabric. Zeus couldn't be bothered to repair it, and he really couldn't anyway because the girl could overrule even him when it came down to it."

"How do you know all of this?"

She laughed in a mad way. "Because I was that girl. Since it was my 'problem,' they stuck me in charge of taking care of the people I decided were worth more than what the Fates had decided. So I created this place, this reality, to give them a new start. What I didn't count on was that eventually people stopped believing in the gods and we lost our powers. So I'm stuck here, too."

"But the gods existed millennia ago."

"I don't show my age, do I?"

Sirius frowned. "And what about this place? You also mentioned some witches up north?"

Moria shrugged. "The Fates. They run a resort up in the thumb, along the lakeshore." She held up her hand again, wiggling her thumb. "We catch up with each other every couple of years or so, usually when someone gets their second chance. We throw a convention every ten years to round all of the gods up. Most of us settled here in the US because people don't pay much attention to our strangeness. They just think we're hippies for the most part."

He smiled at that, remembering the costumes people had worn in London when he'd been younger. He could remember staring out of the window, hoping that he wouldn't get caught looking out and watching the Muggles walk by. He'd been fascinated by them and how they could get around with any magic. Which brought him back to something.

"You lost your powers?"

"For the most part. I still have quite a bit, much like a normal witch would have in your world. But I don't need a wand or an incantation. Though I can't use it when normal people are around."

He could understand that. "So is there any chance that I can return?"

Moria shook her head slightly. "Because you're here, I'd say that there isn't much of a chance that you can go back. Since my powers aren't what they were, I can't see farther than the end of the day. That's why I dragged the guys to the store. It's less traumatizing for everyone all around. I just didn't expect you to be so injured - I just knew you were coming. Even if I pooled all of the gods together, I still wouldn't have enough power to send you back, as much as I wish I could. Even though I threaten to do so, I really can't send them back. I'm really regret pulling Spike into this reality, though. I can't afford his cigarettes anymore."

Sirius slumped into the cushy arm of the long sofa he was on. "What do I do then?"

"Start a new life, read the entire Library of Congress, vacation in exotic spots. That's what most people seem to do when they learn they've got a whole new lease on life." She got up and grabbed the empty popcorn bowl. "One thing about being here is, since you're dead in your own reality, you can't die unless you really want to. Some people do pick that option, so you go either to Hades, the Elysian Fields, or if you're not sure then Limbo. Me, I actually like living in Michigan, even if the ice is pretty shitty to drive on in the winter and the mosquitos are big enough to carry off small children if given the chance."

He closed his eyes, thinking about everything that she'd said. If it was all true, then he was stuck here with no chance of getting back. That still didn't mean he couldn't try, at least. He wasn't one of the Marauders for nothing. And if he was stuck here, he wasn't an escaped convict. But there was no Harry, James, or Moony here, either. Of course, there was no Voldemort, either, except between two heavy pieces of paperboard and seven hundred sheets of story.

He opened his eyes to find that the others had abandoned the room and the only light on was a lamp on the table next to him. Next to his elbow was the blue-covered book that Moria had been holding earlier, and he picked it up.  
_  
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, huh?_ he asked himself as he opened the front cover. _I wonder if there are other books, if it says year five on the cover?

* * *

(16 July 2005, Midnight) _

"Did you get it?"

A nod. "Here's your copy, Sirius. Make sure that Treize doesn't get it, or you may not see it for a while. He'll read it so many times you would end up having to get a new copy, anyway."

"I know. Oh, I like this green cover better. Look! It has a Dark Mark on the back. Scary! But what are Harry and Dumbledore looking into? A penseive?" A pause. "Some lady came by and said that I had the perfect costume, although she thought that I died in the fifth book, and why was I here for the sixth book? And I told her that, somewhere out there, were fans still holding out with the hope that I would return."

Laughter.

"How hilarious!"

"And true!"

"But I wouldn't tell the Muggles, because I think there are obsessed fans out there who would kidnap you and put you in crazy situations with Snape."

Retching sounds. "Don't say things like that. As if I would ever be trapped somewhere with Snivellus. His hair alone could commit murder, because I swear it has a life of its own. Although if I'm killing him, that wouldn't be so bad."

"How about anyone else?"

"Evans, maybe. Even Remus if it comes to that. I don't quite get the reasoning between me and Harry, though, although I see why you like it."

"The internet is a dangerous weapon in the hands of fangirls and boys."

Fin.

* * *

AN:  
Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
Saffiru - Sailor Moon  
Treize - Gundam Wing  
Moria - the goddess of fate, Who could overrule the gods  
Hell, Michigan really does have an ice cream shop. 


	2. Halloween, Part 4400

Title: Halloween, Part 4400  
Author: Richan  
Warnings: mentions of consuming great quantities of alcohol  
Summary: Second of the 'Beyond the Veil' stories. Sirius finds out about the best part of a Muggle Halloween - teh partys!  
Disclaimer: Moira's the only character I own, and she's really out of Greek mythology. Well, then. I guess I don't own anything.  
Notes: It's early for Halloween, but I don't mind. IMHO, Halloween should be celebrated once a month. After all, what other holiday can you pretend to be someone else?  
Notes2: I've gone through it multiple times, but it's not been through the beta.

* * *

The Characters: 

Sirius: of _Harry Potter_ fame, since landing in Hell, Michigan, he has walked through the gates of Hell on Doomsday and works as a cashier at the local chain grocery store the next town over. (Okay, he walked to the playground on 06/06/06 just so he could say that, as part of the village's Doomsday celebration.)

Moira: a former Greek goddess, she runs a halfway house for people who weren't meant to die in their own dimension and somehow end up in this one.

Spike: the only vampire to ever earn back his own soul through the Demon Trials, he bugs those who live in Moira's halfway house instead of bugging _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel._

Treize: tried to take over the world in the series known as _Gundam Wing_ in his own dimension, and since arriving has practically lived in an alcoholic haze.

Saffiru: was deceived and then killed by his own brother when he tried to save _Sailor Moon_ and now draws panels for comic books.

* * *

"Remind me why I have to bloody dress up?" Spike was asking around the cigarette between his lips as Sirius straightened his own costume. "I don't even want to go out." 

The vampire was dressed appropriately for the occasion, at least as far as looking like a Muggle vampire. Moira had even supplied some fake blood to put at the corners of his mouth. Sirius thought it to be hilarious that, with as much swagger as the blond had, he was still a bit of a cry baby.

"You're not going out," Moira said, glaring at the blond from underneath her hair as she knelt on the floor to tie her shoe. "You will be the one handing out candy to the little kids tonight. And no eating any of them."

Spike huffed. "As if I would. The little blighters don't got enough on them to make a decent meal."

Sirius rolled his eyes at Treize, who was, surprisingly, not smelling like the inside of a whiskey bottle and was dressed for the holiday. Of course, he had taken it to the extreme and was dressed as Napoleon, even though he was much too tall. Sirius supposed that it _was_ a good fit for the former military commander, but he'd somehow acquired the attitude to go with it.

He wanted to enjoy this adult party, and he planned on staying as far away from Treize as possible. At least Saffiru was a decent enough chap to hang out with, even if his English wasn't perfect. It was almost as amusing as it had been watching Wormtail try to pronounce the Latin for Transfiguration. Ooh, bad thought. He wouldn't think bad thoughts on a day... er, night like this.

"Everyone ready?" Moira asked as she grabbed the car keys from the table set by the door. There was a huge bowl on candy set on it, along with several reserve bags tucked on the shelf underneath. With everyone's nod, she opened the door. "And, Spike? No more than two pieces of candy per child. You can't just dump it all in the first kid's bag and then say you were out of candy."

Spike's face fell and Sirius couldn't help but laugh. Though it was a bit disconcerting to realize that their 'den mother' knew them all so well that she could figure out their intentions. But Sirius liked Moira enough to forgive her, as long as he still got to play pranks on the blond vampire.

* * *

"So, just who are you supposed to be?" a woman asked as Sirius ladled another glass of punch. He'd been hiding over by the food and drink table for most of the hour that they'd been here, since Treize had been roaming through the crowd and ending up next to him no matter where he'd gone. 

Sirius raised an eyebrow in a sarcastic question of 'are you serious?' He looked at her and found the woman was wearing such thick lens of her glasses that maybe she couldn't _see_ what he was. The woman had frizzy hair piled on top of her head, and she was stuffed into a satin dress made in the most atrocious green color he had ever seen. She had long, red-painted fingernails that looked more like claws than anything else. Personally, he wondered just how she managed to stay upright, judging by the impossible high-heeled shoes she was wearing - in the same awful color as her dress.

"Cap'n Jack Sparrow, lovey," he said with as best of an accent as he could. He winked one of his kohl-lined eyes and took a sip of punch. "Who're you?"

She gave a simpering smile. "I'm Rita Skeeter!"

The punch launched out of his nostrils and landed on her face, mostly on the lens of those impossibly thick glasses. She spluttered herself and screeched as she tried to wipe the punch off of her face.

Sirius choked and grabbed a couple of napkins sitting next to the punch bowl. "Sorry," he said as he wiped his nose of the red liquid. "Went down the wrong pipe."

A hand from the side grabbed the napkins. "Jack, are you having a bloody nose again?" Moira was asking as she moved the rapidly soaked paper across his chin.

The woman dressed as Rita Skeeter let loose a horrible shriek as she turned and ran. Sirius saw Moira grin as she threw the used napkins at him. He caught all but one on instinct, the last one tumbling to the floor next to his left boot, which somehow had gotten the brunt of the liquid coming from his nose - other than Rita Skeeter's face - when the rest of his costume hadn't got one drop on it.

"I'm doomed to be followed by that woman wherever I go," Sirius whined under his breath.

Moira's grin grew wider and she eyed him with a speculative look. "This coming from the man who dressed up as himself for the release of the sixth book last summer?"

"Okay, I set myself up for that one," he granted, quite ungraciously. "But, I doubt that this one could write a trashy story about anyone, considering she can't probably see them."

She laughed and patted Sirius on the back. "I'll leave you to your punch, then," she said with fake concern in her voice. "I've left my date over by the plant and I think he's sniffing it."

Sirius looked over to the man in question and saw that he was, indeed, sniffing the plant. Of course, the plant was a gorgeous rose bush that grew in the corner of the enclosed porch that the food was in, but it was strange to talk of it like that. "Have fun."

Giving his blessing, he watched as she wandered over to her date, the two of them dressed as a matching couple. The date didn't quite match Sirius' thoughts on Brad Pitt, but he did think that Moira could pull it off. Mr. and Mrs. Smith were dressed in their armor and had various toy guns strapped to them, but the ridiculous safety glasses looked odd in the dim light of the porch.

"Having a good time?"

Sirius looked over and found his hostess for the evening surveying the food table. He nodded when she looked at him. "The punch is good, although the grapes are a little tart."

She laughed. "Hey, it's Michigan in October. You can't exactly get food that's perfectly ripe." She leaned closer. "And they're supposed to be eyeballs. I know, because I had to peal them all."

He eyed them a bit sheepishly. "I was wondering why they felt funny."

She stuck her hand out. "The name's Bellona, but most people call me Belle. It's certainly better than trying to explain my name." She cocked her head to the side a little, as if a cat. "You're one of Moira's boys, aren't you?"

Sirius choked on his sip of punch and carefully set the glass onto the table. It certainly wasn't his night for the delicious punch, even with the hint of vodka that was in it. He studied her face for a moment before nodding.

Belle chuckled. "I thought so, although you seem a bit more sane than some of the others who've stayed with her."

He relaxed at that, having survived this long with Spike as a housemate. "I'm Sirius Black." He held out his hand.

Shaking, she shook her head. "Moira'd said something to that effect, but I figured you would have moved out and to your own place by now. It's only the insane ones who stay."

"What about Saffiru?" Sirius asked as he cautiously took up his cup and took the tiniest sip he could.

Belle looked at him with a reflection of his 'are you serious' look. "He draws comic books for a living." She paused. "But that may be because I doubt he's fully grown and I wouldn't want him living on his own."

Sirius laughed. "Are you one, too?"

She shook her head. "I was one of the gods, but not exactly associated with her. She was worshiped by the Greeks, but I was worshiped by the Romans."

He eyed her with a little hesitance. And she wondered why _he_ stayed with Moira.

Belle caught his look and laughed. "I suppose it was quite the power trip, but I doubt I have anything near what Moira has now. I just try to blend in with the regular folk now."

He nodded, silently relieved that he wouldn't have another crazy person on his hands. He had enough of them as it already was.

* * *

"Did you have fun?" the booming voice asked. 

Sirius squinted his eyes against the loud noise and tried to roll over. He landed with a painful thump on a hard surface that felt remarkably like the floor in the living room. He blindly reached out and hit his hand, a bit harder than he thought was possible, on the solid base of the coffee table that sat in front of the couch.

Prying one eye open enough to see what was going on, he saw a pair of shoes about four inches from his nose. They were close enough that it hurt to focus, so he shut his eye again and tried to console himself.

This was going to be painful.

"I think he drank more alcohol than I did," came a voice from what had to be the direction of the dining table.

There was a snort above him. "No one drank as much alcohol as you did last night, Treize."

That had to be Moira, then. Because if it was anyone else who lived in the house, Sirius was in the wrong house and had to get home. He'd still be in trouble, but it wouldn't be breaking and entering trouble at the least.

Sirius mentally pulled himself as together as he could with a pounding headache and carefully crawled into a sitting position. His eyes open into the barest of slits against the glaring light of the side-table lamps, he looked around the room.

Spike was chuckling from behind an unlit cigarette (part of Moira's 'no smoking in the house' clause), while Treize was gloating from the table where he was having his Morning After Bloody Mary. Moira just plain looked angry.

"You are in some serious trouble, mister," she ground out through her teeth. "Do you know who Belle is?"

He shook his head, then ruefully reminded himself not to ever do that as his head began to throb even worse than before.

Moira leaned down and looked directly into Sirius' unfocused eyes. "She was the goddess of war, Sirius, and if you did anything to her, she _will_ hurt you. A lot. Very painfully. And it will involve things men don't want done."

All three men winced. And Sirius hurt himself as it triggered another aching jab of pain.

The doorbell rang at that moment, granting Sirius a bit of relief - in spite of the loud noise that seemed to reverberate around the house.

It wasn't long enough.

"Sirius!" It was that awful voice from last night that had encouraged him to take shot after shot, which had resulted in him sitting on the floor when there was a perfectly comfortable couch behind him.

He looked up to find Belle smiling at him. Well, that solved the mystery of whether she was going to hurt him or not. 'Cause it looked like a happy smile and not a vengeful one. At least, from what he could tell it was.

"Belle," he said as softly as he could without causing more pain.

"Here!" She shoved a glass under his nose. Whatever was in it smelled awful, like when they had to chop up lizard entrails for potions class. He tried his best to turn his head away from it, but she smashed the glass into his lips.

Once it was down, his head felt better and his stomach didn't heave. That was the good thing. The bad part was that it tasted like something had died in his mouth and he didn't think that toothpaste would ever get that taste out. Maybe if he used the entire bottle of Listerine that he'd accidentally bought the last time it had been his turn to bring home groceries. He wouldn't drink it like Treize had tried to do, because he wasn't ever going to drink again.

Alcohol, at least. Well, hard liquor at any rate. He couldn't very well watch football at the bar without a beer in hand, though he rarely ever finished it.

"Alive once more?" Belle asked in what he realized was her normal level, though before he'd drank that disgusting drink it had sounded as if she were shouting - that they'd all been shouting. She laughed. "It was fun watching you try to drink me under the table, but I've bested more men than you will ever meet."

There was a snort from Treize, and Sirius got to watch him cower as the former goddess turned her steely eyes on him. "Ready for a round, drunk?"

Moira sighed. "Treize, are you all ready drunk this morning?"

"Never stopped drinking," came the slurred response from around the rim of his glass as he took a long swallow. "I'm 'bout ready to head to bed."

Spike snorted this time, with a muttered "whino," under his breath. Sirius glared at him, along with the two women, and he silently slunk from the room, still muttering but not loud enough for them to understand the words.

"So, who was your date last night?" Belle asked as she took a seat on the couch, almost pushing Sirius into the couch.

_Oh, Merlin, please don't let him be trapped in some gabfest._

"One of Chaucer's characters. He owed me a favor, and I wanted to be Mrs. Smith this year. Last year I was a mummy, and it was very boring," came the amused reply. Moira looked at Sirius. "You don't have to stay, Sirius. There's some cinnamon rolls in the kitchen, and there should still be some bacon and eggs in the fridge."

That definitely sounded better than listening to the two chatter. Climbing off of the floor, Sirius was almost to the kitchen door when Belle called out to him.

"We should have a contest like we had last night some other time, shouldn't we, Sirius?"

He didn't know he could run that fast until he tried.

Fin.

Information regarding Bellona can be found here at http / en . wikipedia . org / wiki / Enyo


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